Paul J #9

Paul grew up a poor carrot farmer before the war. In crossing guard school he learned how to work on bicycles and became the best “seat-post bearing” adjuster west of NY. From there he took his talents to the Pedwick Rifle Range where he became “Head tester” for their fledgling bullet proof glass jar division. A short time later after he had successfully fleeced the company for twenty-seven paperclips, eight #3 pencils, five gummy erasers and a Signature Professional stapler he moved his family of twenty seven into a large three unit duplex which he promptly named “Xanadu”. It was at this time he met King George the IX from Ipicatizan and purchased a never patented three-legged Italian threaded throne stabilizer in orange which became his main source of income after loosing very big the year before in Mallute racing. For nearly eighteen years he lived on cream and toast and had to sell many of his children to help pay of his unquenchable felt fetish. It wasn’t long until he had the heat on his back and through a fiend he took up free treasure diving off the Pacific Coast Trail. Thank goodness for apricots, had it not been for his inguinal hernia and the missing pit, it’s most probably his dog Lucy Chew would have never stopped the car in time. Needless to say, all this talent is difficult to be harbored in just one individual, and it was at this point he surgically cut himself into two pieces so he could divide up his time better. Well, the rest is history and luckily we caught up with him to learn that he is now racing mini-motorcycles out in Stockton, CA and doing quite well. Let’s keep our fingers crossed his liver holds out!